Review: Tide's Ebb

Title: Tide's Ebb
Author: Alexandra Brenton
Publication Date: October 16, 2012
Source: Author
Summary (from Goodreads)
Sassy Manhattan lawyer Marianna Holt has the perfect life and the ideal fiancé. But a shocking bedroom revelation shatters her limits, her confidence, and her world. When her law firm sends her out of New York for the first time, Marianna feels lost at sea.

Life-long Rhode Islander Captain Lawrence doesn’t need high-maintenance city women or a last name. When the gruff sea captain saves Marianna from drowning, he knows he’s in over his head. The head-strong odd couple shares only two things: a deep dislike of each other, and an undeniable attraction. Sparks fly, but will they catch fire at sea?

 

When I received an email looking for review for a new book stating it was like Seduction and Snacks (only snarkier) I responded with yes, I’d like to review it. Um, I’m not entirely sure where the similarities to the book are, though. The two are nothing at all alike, in my opinion. Tide’s Ebb is more of…I’m not sure even how to label it. Dark humour? Crude humour? I have no idea; I just know the two should not be compared. (Seriously, authors, stop comparing your books to the current best-seller. Ten to one they aren’t anything alike and even if they are, that’s not always a good thing.) When I read the summary I assumed I was in for an everyday romance story; it sounds pretty normal. This book is anything but normal.

There wasn’t one character in this book that I liked. Marianna was a cold, selfish, self-centered, judgmental woman. There was no way to take this character seriously. And then, it dawned on me, maybe the book isn’t meant to be taken seriously. I really, really hope this is the case. So I stopped comparing it to the book it was supposed to be so much alike and started thinking of it as it should be thought of—a tale of a crude, egotistical lawyer with a donkey obsessed ex and an attraction to a sexually confused (maybe?) seaman.

Seriously, I’m just confused how to rate this. Normally it's something I would hate because of the writing style, lack of plot and tedious/horrible story. However, if the author was going for dark humour (although boarding on more annoying than humorous) with characters that you’re supposed to hate and a story that is so far-fetched and in places almost makes your eyes roll out of you head with all the bullshit that’s going on, then the scoring would be high. There were a few one liners that were funny, but mostly it was just too outrageous for me.

So this is how I’m breaking it down with my rating. If I was rating it like I would a normal book it wouldn't even make 1 star (I hate saying that because I know how much it goes into writing a novel but I can’t help the way I feel) However, because I’m confused by what kind of genre this book is supposed to be, I’m going to base my rating on all the absurdity the novel has (and there is a ton) and how much I truly hated the characters—which I hope was the point--and give it 2 quills based entirely on those two points. Otherwise, like I said, this book would be getting a horrible review from me.